Due to the amount of interest my fictional fantasy baseball team attracted, I have been asked to provide a line-up of my favorite fictional hockey players. Now the same rules will apply as the baseball team. No biographical players. Meaning if the actor is portraying a real person then they are not eligible. That is why there are no characters from the following movies on my team: Miracle, The Rocket, or Net Worth. Also the Hanson Brothers are not on the team because they are also real people and not characters. (Although they are memorable.)
I just wanted to put that out there as a disclaimer before you read and said, “What no Hanson line?” or “Where the hell is Eruzione and Mark Johnson!?”
So we will start off with the forwards. The first line packs some serious offensive punch and features two players from one of the top three hockey movies of all time. Derek Sutton (Patrick Swayze – Youngblood) centering Dean Youngblood (Rob Lowe) and Doug Dorsey (D.B. Sweeney – The Cutting Edge). Sweeney whom I felt did a great job portraying Shoeless Joe in Eight Men Out but was kept out by the ban on real people. Let’s not forget Dorsey had a very promising career cut short by injury in the ’88 Olympics in a game versus West Germany. I think he will fit in nicely with the obvious chemistry of Sutton and Youngblood. Sutton also takes the “A” as alternate captain for the team.
The second line features three players from Mystery, Alaska. Although these three didn’t play on the same line in the movie I think it was poor coaching by Burt ‘Bandit’ Reynolds who played Coach Judge Walter ‘Bear’ Burns. The Winetka brothers, Galin and Ben, skate as beautifully as Pocahontas sings. This makes sense because they are Native Americans, Inuit to be precise. Played by Adam Beach and Leroy Peltier the brothers Winetka are centered by speedster Stevie Weeks (Ryan Northcott). The speed and skill of this line looks to cause fits for the opposition.
The third line brings the experience and ruggedness needed to win in the playoffs. Reggie Dunlop, team captain, (Paul Newman) puts his differences aside to center two men from the rival Syracuse Bulldogs. Dr. Hook McCracken (Paul D’Amato) and Ogie Oglethorpe (Ned Dowd). All these characters are from the movie Slapshot.
The fourth line is a solid mix of skill and experience. This line is going to be counted on to provide timely scoring. Slapshot provides us with Ned Braden (Michael Ontkean); the former leading scored in the Federal League is counted on the lead another wirey veteran, Gordon Bombay (Emilio ‘Billy the Kid’ Estevez – D2). Opposite Bombay is the sniper from Mystery Alaska, Connor Banks (Michael Buie). If Bombay can stay healthy his work in the corner and along the boards digging out pucks could compliment Banks’ quick release nicely.
The defense will be counted on to play tough strong D because the forwards don’t appear to play much of a two-way game. The defense is led by a hot-headed rookie named Huey Hewitt (Peter Fausett – Youngblood). His partner is experienced tough guy Andre ‘Poodle’ Lusier (Mark Bussquet – Slapshot). The second pairing will also be counted on the Power play quarterbacking. Tree Lane (Kevin Durand- Mystery Alaska) and a rehabilitated Jean ‘Rosie’ LaRose (Angus MacInnes – Strange Brew) If you have seen the movie you know that Rosie had a nervous breakdown and is at Elsinore Brewery/Insane Asylum on a rehab stint. The final pairing has the Dean Portman (Aaron Lohr – D2) with Gilmore Tuttle (Blake Ball – Slapshot). Portman is the only one mature enough to come off the developmental Mighty Ducks team and Tuttle provides a grizzly leadership similar to his beautiful beard.
In goal the starting job will have to be earned right now two goalies (technically three) are vying for the job. Bob and Walt Tenor (Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear – Stuck on You) make up the first part of the goaltending team having led the Quickee Burger team to back to back Cape League Championships. But then the legendary Heaver (Keanu ‘Johnny Utah’ Reeves – Youngblood) is so confident that he styles his hair after every period. One obstacle could be his limited English. But I am not sure if it’s because Heaver is French Canadian or just an idiot.
The coaches of this team will be former Hamilton Mustangs bench boss, Coach Murray Chadwick (Ed Lauter). He will be assisted by Judge Walter ‘Bear’ Burns (Burt Reynolds).
Here is a look at some of the injured reserve team members:
G-Doug McKenzie from Strange Brew played by Dave Thomas; G- Jean-Guy Drouin from Slapshot played by Yvon Ponton; F- Chris Pratt from The Lookout played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt; F- Wayne Campbell from Wayne’s World played by Mike Myers; F- Darren Roanoke from The Love Guru played by Romany Malco; D- Sub-Zero from The Running Man played by Professor Toru Tanaka.
Enjoy and if there are any movies on here you haven’t seen check them out. Until next time, #4
I just wanted to put that out there as a disclaimer before you read and said, “What no Hanson line?” or “Where the hell is Eruzione and Mark Johnson!?”
So we will start off with the forwards. The first line packs some serious offensive punch and features two players from one of the top three hockey movies of all time. Derek Sutton (Patrick Swayze – Youngblood) centering Dean Youngblood (Rob Lowe) and Doug Dorsey (D.B. Sweeney – The Cutting Edge). Sweeney whom I felt did a great job portraying Shoeless Joe in Eight Men Out but was kept out by the ban on real people. Let’s not forget Dorsey had a very promising career cut short by injury in the ’88 Olympics in a game versus West Germany. I think he will fit in nicely with the obvious chemistry of Sutton and Youngblood. Sutton also takes the “A” as alternate captain for the team.
The second line features three players from Mystery, Alaska. Although these three didn’t play on the same line in the movie I think it was poor coaching by Burt ‘Bandit’ Reynolds who played Coach Judge Walter ‘Bear’ Burns. The Winetka brothers, Galin and Ben, skate as beautifully as Pocahontas sings. This makes sense because they are Native Americans, Inuit to be precise. Played by Adam Beach and Leroy Peltier the brothers Winetka are centered by speedster Stevie Weeks (Ryan Northcott). The speed and skill of this line looks to cause fits for the opposition.
The third line brings the experience and ruggedness needed to win in the playoffs. Reggie Dunlop, team captain, (Paul Newman) puts his differences aside to center two men from the rival Syracuse Bulldogs. Dr. Hook McCracken (Paul D’Amato) and Ogie Oglethorpe (Ned Dowd). All these characters are from the movie Slapshot.
The fourth line is a solid mix of skill and experience. This line is going to be counted on to provide timely scoring. Slapshot provides us with Ned Braden (Michael Ontkean); the former leading scored in the Federal League is counted on the lead another wirey veteran, Gordon Bombay (Emilio ‘Billy the Kid’ Estevez – D2). Opposite Bombay is the sniper from Mystery Alaska, Connor Banks (Michael Buie). If Bombay can stay healthy his work in the corner and along the boards digging out pucks could compliment Banks’ quick release nicely.
The defense will be counted on to play tough strong D because the forwards don’t appear to play much of a two-way game. The defense is led by a hot-headed rookie named Huey Hewitt (Peter Fausett – Youngblood). His partner is experienced tough guy Andre ‘Poodle’ Lusier (Mark Bussquet – Slapshot). The second pairing will also be counted on the Power play quarterbacking. Tree Lane (Kevin Durand- Mystery Alaska) and a rehabilitated Jean ‘Rosie’ LaRose (Angus MacInnes – Strange Brew) If you have seen the movie you know that Rosie had a nervous breakdown and is at Elsinore Brewery/Insane Asylum on a rehab stint. The final pairing has the Dean Portman (Aaron Lohr – D2) with Gilmore Tuttle (Blake Ball – Slapshot). Portman is the only one mature enough to come off the developmental Mighty Ducks team and Tuttle provides a grizzly leadership similar to his beautiful beard.
In goal the starting job will have to be earned right now two goalies (technically three) are vying for the job. Bob and Walt Tenor (Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear – Stuck on You) make up the first part of the goaltending team having led the Quickee Burger team to back to back Cape League Championships. But then the legendary Heaver (Keanu ‘Johnny Utah’ Reeves – Youngblood) is so confident that he styles his hair after every period. One obstacle could be his limited English. But I am not sure if it’s because Heaver is French Canadian or just an idiot.
The coaches of this team will be former Hamilton Mustangs bench boss, Coach Murray Chadwick (Ed Lauter). He will be assisted by Judge Walter ‘Bear’ Burns (Burt Reynolds).
Here is a look at some of the injured reserve team members:
G-Doug McKenzie from Strange Brew played by Dave Thomas; G- Jean-Guy Drouin from Slapshot played by Yvon Ponton; F- Chris Pratt from The Lookout played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt; F- Wayne Campbell from Wayne’s World played by Mike Myers; F- Darren Roanoke from The Love Guru played by Romany Malco; D- Sub-Zero from The Running Man played by Professor Toru Tanaka.
Enjoy and if there are any movies on here you haven’t seen check them out. Until next time, #4
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